Art’s Cyclery Blog

A few Pro Tour teams have revealed their fancy new kit designs for 2012 recently, most notably Omega Pharma-Quick Step and Lotto-Belisol. These kits are, for the most part, tame and rather conventional, which got us thinking about some of the ugliest, most repulsive Pro cycling kits of all time.

As a euro-centric sport, cycling comes off as a sport full of outlandish characters by our American standards for professional athletics. Tight spandex, colorful outfits, shaved legs…the list of emasculating traits goes on and on. And perhaps these peculiar personalities provide the fuel to create the excessively colorful, creative and ghastly designs that frequent the peloton year after year.

Sometimes the graphic risks pay off, resulting in fan favorite kits like the argyle of the Garmin-Slipstream team or the jelly beans scattered across the Jelly Belly jerseys. But more often than not, these forays that push the limits of cycling fashion result in epic failures. We’ve compiled the five most atrocious designs below. We also acknowledge that some of you may feel differently, which is why there’s a comment section so you can participate in this discussion too. But if you seriously think any of these kits are attractive, you need your sanity checked.

Did a box of crayons melt all over this guy?

#5 - Mapei

I know some people loved the bright colors randomly blocked across the Mapei kits, but how can you expect to be taken seriously wearing this? I mean look at this guy, does he look very intimidating? He looks like a pre-schooler who spent an hour unsupervised with a set of watercolor paints, which is probably the point because Mapei did evolve from a small paint producer.

Mapei was one of the strongest teamsof the late 90s with a powerful stable of classics riders, winning Paris-Roubaix five times between 1995 and 2000. But they will unfortunately be remembered for their hideously colorful kits rather than their results on the road.

#4 - Rock Racing

The bad boys of Rock Racing.

The polar opposite of the Mapei kit comes from Rock Racing, with the team’s “Bad Boy” persona enforced by its anarchist kit design. Full of skulls, stars, stripes, wings, anarchy symbols and bright colors, Rock Racing unveiled 17 different kit designs in three forgettable seasons. The team does get points for being different - everything new feels weird at first because it’s different. But cycling wasn’t ready for Rock Racing. This band of cycling outcasts comprised of riders tainted by doping scandals was pretty bad-ass, showing up to races with tricked out Escalades and hot chicks in team-branded apparel. The problem was, they just weren’t likable, and their kits were probably the biggest reason.

#3 - Acqua & Sapone - Zebra

One of Mario's nicknames was ironically The Lion King.

Not even the great Mario Cipollini could make this one look good. I would love to know who actually came up with this and how they could have possibly thought zebra stripes were a good idea. Of all the animal prints, it has to be one of the lamest. Now tiger stripes, that’s at least an intimidating animal that would justify some possible design cues. Zebras are basically weird horses, you can’t even ride one because they have never been domesticated.

#2 - Saeco  - Super Mario’s muscle suit

WTF?

This one raises more questions than the zebra kit. It is in no way aesthetically pleasing by any metric you can come up with, unless it had some pleasant aroma I’m not aware of, but I find that highly unlikely. I give credit for creativity, but what is the point of the muscles? I just don’t get it, but this is from a man who was quoted as saying, “If I weren’t a professional cyclist, I’d be a porn star,” so nothing he did was really that much of a surprise.

His antics and showmanship were good for the sport. Where the guys of Rock Racing were annoyingly unconventional, Mario the Magnificent was captivating and flamboyant. However, this kit is in no way acceptable and all images should be censored from the internet from here forth.

#1 - Footon-Servetto

“Kids, cover your eyes, for some reason those men are riding in the nude…oh never mind, it’s just the ugliest kit I’ve ever seen,” said the cycling fan to his children. If these kits were actually gold instead of flesh, they would still look horrible, but they may have looked decent enough to make it off this list. Someone clearly made a mistake in the factory, using caucasian-flesh instead of bronzey gold to construct this kit. If the jerseys matched their bikes, they would have been in much better shape.

And how about that footprint on the front? First of all, you can’t even tell what the image is of while the rider is on his bike because he is hunched over the handlebars. To me, the footprint is a reminder that this kit design is the doormat of all kit designs.

(For a good laugh that ranks high on the unintentional comedy scale, check out this video from the team’s kit unveiling in 2010.)

Let these failures be lessons to those graphic designers out there so we can learn from our mistakes and never, ever repeat this ugly chapter of cycling’s rich history.

These poor cyclists look embarrassed. I would be too if I had to race in a flesh-toned kit.

Evan General, Road footon servetto kit, mapei jersey, mario cippollini, rock racing jersey, saeco jersey, ugliest cycling jersey, ugliest cycling kit, ugliest jersey, zebra jersey

We have always been big fans of Light and Motion products, so we were very excited to attend their 2010 dealer meeting, held at their factory/headquarters on Monterey, California’s historic Cannery Row.

After an amazing lunch of homemade tamales, quesadillas, and horchata, (thanks, Salsa!) we broke into small groups for a tour of the facilities. Light and Motion is housed in an old cannery building—tall ceilings, brick walls, four levels, and it’s right on the water. The ocean-side location is fitting since Light and Motion began by designing and building premium underwater lights and housings for video cameras, and they are still leaders in that industry.

The first stop was the assembly line, where we were put to work building Stella 200’s. There is a  lot of skill required to create a high-end light, and you don’t pick it up quickly. Luckily, the guys who work the line were generous with their knowledge and walked us through the process, making sure we were able to complete a working light system, albeit they could’ve built ten in the time it took me to make one. Don’t worry, we got to keep the lights we built, Light and Motion’s customers deserve a product built by the best—their assemblers—not by me.

Next up was an overview of the history of Light and Motion products. Everything they’ve built from the very first bike light and water housing  up until the yet-to-be-released 2010 stuff was on display. Most impressive to me was observing how the batteries shrunk every year, even as the light got more powerful. As an aside, Light and Motion underwater engineers are chasing down a two-thousand lumen video light—which would only light an object about ten feet away, since so much of the light’s energy is absorbed by water.

Finally we were taken through the lower levels of the cannery building. This is where the Light and Motion Skunkworks is housed. Almost every part of their lights are built and designed here. Molds for the rubber and plastic bits are designed and machined in-house, a state-of-the-art three-dimensional printer creates models of developing product for testing and refinement, and vigorous tests are carried out on custom-built machines.

What’s most impressive about Light and Motion, besides their amazing lights, is the company itself. Everyone who works there is committed to building the best product possible, and their pride in their work is evident. I thoroughly enjoyed talking to the folks who monitor quality control, take care of warranties and repairs, solder the circuit boards, and make sure every box that leaves the factory has all the parts it should have, and they all work as they should. Light and Motion’s dedication to sustainability is evident in every step of the building process—aluminum scraps from tooling is recycled, excess molded rubber is re-used, and they generously support environmental awareness programs in their community. Light and Motion uses a Kanban system to maximize efficiency. A smooth-running factory  results, in which problems are recognized and solved quickly by the people who actually have their hands in the process.

After touring the Light and Motion headquarters, I’m more impressed than ever with the bike lights company that supports it’s community, which includes cyclists everywhere, not just in Monterey. Light and Motion goes the extra step in everything they do, whether it’s hand-tapping reflectors to get the absolute perfect beam pattern for mountain biking, to creating new and better manufacturing techniques to protect our planet.

Luke General, Industry

Ultra-marathoner and endurance legend Dean Karnazes is stopping at Art’s Cyclery on March 17th at 6:00p.m. on his journey from S.F. to L.A. aboard an elliptical bike! Come by to meet the best-selling author recently named one of Time Magazine’s “Top 100 Most Influential People in the World.”

Dean Karnazes will ride his ElliptiGO almost 500 miles from S.F. to L.A. before running the L.A. Marathon.

Evan General

Two weekends ago, Lance Armstrong and professional triathlete Chris Lieto dueled in an 11-mile time trial along Kona’s Queen K Highway - a notoriously windy stretch of road that serves as the bike leg of the Hawaii Ironman World Championships.

The spontaneous face-off came about from an exchange on Twitter after the two endurance stars passed each other while training. Lance initiated the challenge writing, “Hey Chris, a little TT showdown on the Queen K tomorrow? You, me and whoever.”

Lieto accepted the challenge and the race was on. Both athletes turned in impressive performances, averaging over 35 mph with a strong tailwind. Lieto was slower, but only by nine seconds. Nine seconds to Lance Armstrong, the greatest cyclist to ever throw a leg over a bike, is ridiculously impressive considering Lieto isn’t a full time cyclist. He trains for 3 sports and can still ride within nine seconds of the best ever.

This brings me to my advice to Lance about his expressed desire to compete in triathlon, specifically at the Ironman distance - DON’T DO IT, at least don’t do it with the intention of winning. Lance’s greatest strength in triathlon is obviously his bike leg, but this TT with Lieto proves that it’s not as big as he thinks. Lieto turned in the fastest bike split last year in Kona, riding 4:25:10 for 112 miles with an average speed of 25.34 mph. I don’t doubt Lance’s ability to match Lieto on the bike, but could he run a sub 2:50 marathon right after? I’m thinking not even close.

I acknowledge the fact that Lance got his start in triathlon and has run marathons recently, but there’s no way he could turn himself into a world class triathlete. I’m not the only one who thinks so either. Chris “Macca” McCormack, the 2007 Ironman World Champion, had this to say to Competitor.com when asked about Lance’s chances:

“It’s not about the bike at Kona. It’s about being able to put together a swim, bike and run…I’d have money that he’d have a very, very solid war with someone like Chrissie Wellington…”

And that’s why Macca is one of my favorite triathletes, he’s not afraid to speak his mind and state that Lance would have a close race with last year’s women’s champion. She is an amazing athlete and set the women’s course record last year, beating the majority of the pro men’s field in the process, but she was still a long way off the pace of winner Craig Alexander.

Historically, questioning the strength and physical ability of Lance Armstrong is not a good idea. But when it comes to Ironman racing, I just don’t see him being competitive. Don’t get me wrong, I would absolutely love to see him toe the start line in Kona, but his chances of another Tour podium finish are significantly better than his chances at an Ironman top-3 finish.

I can’t wait to see how this plays out. I love that guys like Macca and Lieto have the guts and confidence to stand up to Lance. I’m praying LA takes a shot at Kona. If nothing else, it will at least draw a huge amount of attention to the sport. And when Lance gets crushed by the world’s best triathletes, maybe the cycling community will have a little more respect for their multi-sport counterparts.

Evan General, Pleasures of Riding

We here at Art’s Cyclery are exited that the Pro Road season is finally underway. There was a lot of deck-shuffling and surprise moves made over the off-season, and the trash-talking has already begun for the new year—it all means more excitement for us, the race fans. Team HTC-Columbia is back to their old tricks—winning races—with Andre Greipel riding to victory in the Tour Down Under. Looking forward, will Tom Boonen become only the second man in history to win Paris-Roubaix four times? Will Levi and Lance dominate the greatest Tour of California yet? Of course the race we’re all looking forward to is in July. This year’s Tour de France could be one of the best we’ve seen in a long time. Cadel Evans’ move to BMC puts him on a team that can provide real support, and he’s got to be hungry for a Tour win. Will Cavendish go all-out for the Green Jersey that so many people think should be his? How about the Schleck Brothers? Are they for real? We’ll find out soon.

Lance. Contador. Who will win… Last years display of dominance by the Spaniard seems to have left little doubt, but Lance seems to have the stronger, more disciplined team, and even though he’s another year older, he’s had another year to train himself back into race shape—just look at all those FRS advertisements. For Contador, the question is whether or not Vinokurov and Pereiro will truly lay themselves on their swords for their leader. If Contador has their unyielding support, he could be untouchable. And those new yellow pedals he’s got might help him out, too.

July is a long way off, however, and there will be a lot of great racing to watch before then. Let Art’s Cyclery get you all kitted-up by visiting one of our Pro Team stores; Liquigas, Quick Step, and of course, HTC-Columbia, so you’ll be ready to go when your favorite race kicks off this 2010. Until then, keep riding.

Luke General, Racing and Races, Road

In case you didn’t think Marin’s were cool, or their suspension design was anything but hokey, here’s a sweet video we found of Matt Butterworth shredding on his Marin. We’re stoked on the bikes and it seems he is too. One thing’s for certain, it doesn’t seem to be slowing him down. Enjoy!

Postill Vid 2009 from Eric Marciniak on Vimeo.

Click here to see Artscyclery.com’s selection of Marin bicycles.
Hammer On

Bradstone General, Pleasures of Riding Marin, Mountain Biking

Check out Art’s Cylery’s new Facebook page and stay up-to-date with all the goings-on of your favorite bike shop. Keep up on sales, watch videos, look at pictures, and be involved!

Luke General

Everyone wants to live in an area with lots of riding opportunities, and lots of people to ride with, right? We at Art’s Cyclery know how lucky we are to have both—it’s not Whistler or the hills of Tuscany, but we can pedal from our front door into hours of climbing, plummeting, rolling, twisting, scenic asphalt or singletrack, and almost always run into someone we know along the way. 

San Luis Obispo’s cycling scene has been pretty strong for a long time, and we love hearing tales of the old days when adventurous guys like Ron Cox rode dirtbikes up on the Ridge to blaze the trails we now ride by pedal power only. Even though there is a rich history of riding bikes in this town, there is always an opportunity to strengthen the community, and thankfully, that’s just what is happening. 

Local races are a great way to bring the cycling enthusiasts in your area together, both on the pavement and on the dirt. San Luis Obispo’s premier race promoter, cencalcycling.com, puts on races both large and small, from crits to cyclocross, and the turnout gets better every time. For 26″ wheeled racers, there is an under-the-radar “Black Market” race series put on by the racers themselves complete with times, photographers, and sometimes prizes. (Disclaimer: the Black Market Series is held on remote trails, where hikers, equestrians, or other trail users never go.)

Finally, San Luis Obispo’s “Bike Happening” attracts both hardcore and strictly-casual cyclists alike, and is a great way to have fun, ride bikes, and catch up with friends you haven’t seen in a while. The Bike Happening is a Critical-Courteous-Mass-style event, held on the first Thursday of the month, in which participants dress-up according to a theme, pedal around downtown SLO a few times, and have a great time, all while increasing the profile of responsible cycling in the community.

So there you go. Get some friends together and start a race series, or meet up after work one night and ride in circles for a while. Whatever you do, tell other cyclists about it, and make sure they spread the word as well. Before you know it you’ll be spinning right in the middle of a growing bike scene, which will lead to more trails, more bike lanes, and more friends!

Luke General

Sometimes I wish the cycling clothing companies would just stop making matching apparel sets. That may sound like an odd request but let me explain, because there’s a story that prompted this conviction. This morning I was flipped off on the freeway driving to work. One of those deals where you really didn’t realize you were slowing someone else down for so long. After tailgating me, the man pulled around me on the right, passed me just enough so that I couldn’t tell who he was and stuck his middle finger out the window. What impressed me the most was that it was raining outside, and I had gotten him so worked up that he saw fit to hold it there for almost a minute! Now as far as insults go, I would have to agree with Jerry Seinfeld and say that getting the toe would be much more of an insult than getting the finger. But this person did go through the trouble of getting his hand wet and leaving it outside for quite some time.Yesterday, I was reading another cycling blog and all these people were commenting on how if you wear white cycling shoes (or anything flashy), you automatically look like a d%#k.

What both events reminded me was that people care too much and are too uptight about stuff. I think roadies are generally too image conscious. The proof is that after ten comments, no one had yet said color shouldn’t matter. Apparently the wisdom of don’t judge a book by its cover is forgotten in cycling circles. I just don’t understand why people get so bent out of shape over nothing! White shoes, 10 seconds in the fast lane, it doesn’t matter what it is.

My point is this, if you want to wear white shoes, wear them proud. If you want to ride a fixie and wear tight pants, do it. We place too much importance on our image in this society, and even worse, we make character judgements based on it. If you want to wear the  red polka dot KOM full kit, go for it! Just promise me this, that you’ll enjoy it and not think twice about wearing it. Secondly, if you feel like commenting negatively on someone else’s apparel, get dressed up in your spandex and go ask a retail clerk of a high fashion store what they think of your outfit. We all look like goofballs out on the road so don’t think that just because you wear a black spandex kit that matches itself you somehow look good all of sudden. It doesn’t matter what you look like (as long as you’re descent of course), it only matters that you enjoy riding your bike. Lose sight of this and you’ve lost sight of what cycling’s all about.

Speaking of clothing, we have some incredible deals on last year’s summer apparel, now’s the time to get it so don’t miss out!

Hammer On

Bradstone General, Pleasures of Riding

As if you needed another reason to shop at artscyclery.com this holiday season, we are now offering free 2nd day air shipping on most orders over $150. Of course, we always provide free ground shipping on all orders over $50 as well, because we like you. Check out our great selection of gifts for the cyclists on your list, even if they happen to be you!

Luke General, Sales